How To Deal With a Cheating Boyfriend: Relationship could be very stressful for both partners. Then there is the notion of monogamy which stipulates that partners should remain together to the exclusion of a third party. And unless the relationship is an open relationship (here the parties open the relationship, doing away with rules of monogamy and allowing either partner to date other people, even have sexual relations with them), neither party should have other romantic/sexual partners.
So you caught your boyfriend cheating, or you found clues pointing to that fact, or evidence showing that your boyfriend is cheating on you and are at loss for what to do. First of all, we understand exactly how you feel. Cheating is a very terrible thing, and the victims tend to lose their self-esteem and worth. The idea of this article is to give you ideas on how to handle a cheating boyfriend.
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8 Ways To Deal With/Handle a Cheating Boyfriend
1. Acknowledge you are beautiful, smart and all shades of wonders: I know now you are comparing yourself with the girl he cheated on you with. A part of you wants to know what she had that you don’t. You are searching for worthwhile reason that could be given to justify him cheating on you.
In case you are already having all these questions and doubts, it’s high time you were told that you are beautiful. The problem doesn’t lie on you being any less than the other woman. Your boyfriend is the scum here, the low life that has no self- control. You shouldn’t feel any less because one person didn’t care less of how you would feel and went ahead to have sexual relations with other people/ person.
2. Be sure he cheated: This question sounds odd but is actually very necessary. Did you catch him in an uncompromising position? if no, are your facts correct?
If you cannot answer any of this, it is important that you ask him. He is probably going to deny, so you look him in the eye, watch out for his demeanor, check his story to see if they correspond with the fact on ground. If they don’t, if his story doesn’t add up, then you can be sure the man is lying to you.
3. Acknowledge that all is well: Dear beautiful lady/woman, all is well. Do well to tell him that all is well. He cheated? What is the big deal, things happen and we should learn to forgive people. Say this in a convincing manner that he believes it. Let him believe you have forgiven him.
Tell him you love him despite his weakness. But bear in mind that this is a ploy. It is not okay that he cheated on you. It is mot okay for him to date other people while you are being in a committed monogamous relationship with him. As a matter of fact, nobody deserves to be treated that way.
4. Tell Your friends he cheated: This is one of the benefits of having friends, people that have your back and are always willing to come through for you. It is important that you are surrounded by these people. It gives room for jokes, entertainment and other fun activities that will take your mind off the fact that you were cheated on.
This is one of the reason why we say having a partner that shields you away from your friends, ensuring that you cut off contact with them is a huge red flag and you shouldn’t wait till something happens before breaking up with that person and ending the relationship.
Some of the activities you could do with friends are sky diving, clubbing, going to the movies, playing games and drinking whilst at it, going on vacations etc.
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5. Hurt him where it is going to hurt the most: I know you have been told several times that vengeance is of the lord. You have been told that you should forgive people that have hurt you. While that sounds like a good idea, think of his reaction when you pay him back in his own coin. Close your eyes for a minute to imagine the look on his face. How did you feel? Did you orgasm just at the thought of it? I am sure you did.
The idea of letting go of the past is a totally good idea, but vengeance sounds a lot better. After you have served him his own share of the cake he served you, you can then forgive and let go of the past. I assure you, it speeds up the healing process.
Now, you are wondering how the cake will be served. The table now belongs to you. First, you are the one in a relationship with this guy. You alone know the things that trip him off, you know when to hurt him. Whatever it is, as long as it is not an act that will likely take you to jail, don’t do it.
He doesn’t like to see you with other men? Sleep with another man and make sure he knows about it.
He has a very good looking father? Show the father what it is like to be with a beautiful lady.
He likes his documents kept in a particular way? Get rid of all of them and be smart about it.
He needs a job and you know who is capable of helping him? Ensure he never gets that job.
This, and so many other things. You know this guy. Do what will hurt.
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6. Break up with him: This is the time you break up with him, yes, when he is at his lowest. You just did something to him that has hurt him deeply, he needs one more hurt and that is you breaking up with him. But it is not just a break up message, you have to add toppings to this beautiful cake you are about to send to him. What are his insecurities, what are the things you could say to him that would trigger him? Use them against him.
7. Take a Break: You need a serious break and you should take it. Take a break from social media, from relationships, from work stress. You could term it “me time.” You will feel better, I promise. It is a period to think things over, evaluate yourself, cry if you must. Let the pain wash through you. You just went through heart break, pretending to be strong will not help. Take time to hibernate and come back stronger and tougher.
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8. Single is fun: You shouldn’t beat yourself up over heartbreak and you shouldn’t run off to date douche bags either. Go for shopping, buy yourself nice things, get new shoes, change your hairstyles, do makeups, set goals, take your career seriously, just do YOU.
Being single is beautiful, and you even get to spend less. Think of all the money you used to spend on him, think of the airtime you buy to make call with him, the gifts you would have bought if you were still dating and spend it on yourself.
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In conclusion, I am here to assure you that you will get over this and you will come out stronger and better. You are a piece of Art, a Monalisa. Never forget that.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.