How To Deal With An Abusive Brother: The most frequent and underreported forms of abuse involve siblings. They arise from various problems and manifest at various ages. While some have had cruel elder siblings or brothers since childhood, others truly had the nicest pals. However, everything changed as they became older.
Sibling relationships should be happy ones, but occasionally, parents don’t notice when one of the kids is acting passive-aggressively, especially if it’s a boy. They avoid facing it by categorizing it as a phase.
However, it hurts when a sibling abuses you. And putting up with that abusive behavior is quite demanding and challenging, especially when it comes from family members we care about deeply, like your brother’s case. The problem is that despite his actions, you still want to help him and shield your parents from his abusive behavior.
This is because society finds it far simpler to reason how to deal with violence between strangers for whatever cause. If a stranger assaults you, the police will be called, and there will likely be some legal action taken, irrespective of age. When it comes to sibling violence, things get complicated, and suddenly no one knows how to react or what to do, especially when it’s your brother.
However, the reality still stands that your brother has no right to violate another person’s rights just because he is offended, furious, or dissatisfied. Being irritated is just part of growing up. As a baby, to express his wants, he would kick and wail. Children learn alternative, more efficient methods of receiving what they need as they become older, including by being polite in their requests.
However, some children find it extremely hard to master these abilities, so when they are experiencing bad emotions, they revert to the desire to push—literally. Hence, it is crucial to discover measures to defend oneself against abuse, whether it is physical, like beating, or verbal, like calling someone names. Consequently, the focus of this essay is on how to deal with an abusive brother.
How To Deal With An Abusive Brother
1. Realise You’re Not to Blame: It’s important to keep in mind that the victim of abuse is never at fault. Sometimes, especially if the issue is verbal abuse, an abusive sibling will reply to dialogue.
Tell your sibling how their insults make you feel and inquire as to why these harsh verbal assaults are taking place (jealousy is a problem as kids fight for their parents’ attention). Your sibling may feel distant or insufficient at the core of the issue. Tell your sibling that while you understand and still care about them, it is not acceptable for them to treat you in that manner.
2. Consider the situation from his viewpoint: It appears that he is unhappy with his personal status and feels that his family would be the best target for his resentment. You are his family, and you love him no matter what undesirable behavior he exhibits. As a result, you are less likely to desert him than those from outside the family.
His actions are unacceptable. But attempt to comprehend his motivation for acting in this manner. There is pressure on him as a man to work, support, and provide for a wife and children, which he does not currently have, even if it is not spoken out loud.
He presumably feels inadequate because of this. Blaming others is a convenient escape strategy, and family and friends are the most convenient targets. It could make you feel a little better about the issue and let you see that it’s not your fault if you can comprehend the probable reasons for his actions.
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3. Place Boundaries: You can’t please everyone, but toxic individuals will lead you to believe that you can’t satisfy anyone, which will make you strive more, work harder, and sacrifice more. It is tiresome. Before you ever recognize you have a border there, poisonous individuals will have it destroyed and buried.
You may choose how far someone can infringe on your limits before it becomes unjustifiably costly by being clear about what you will and won’t tolerate, as well as why. Be prepared to pay attention to the voice that warns you when something is off when it appears.
Establishing limits with him is crucial. You need to have the ability to tell him to stop if he starts to be abusive. A strategy for what to do if he persists is also necessary. Depending on the situation, this can entail leaving the room, stopping the conversation, or even contacting the police. You must have a strategy and follow it completely. As a result, you’ll experience a greater sense of control over your circumstances.
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4. Be firm: You’re not one of those people who are occasionally pitiful. Choose not to let someone use you as a victim. Each of us is a complicated, gorgeous, and brilliant work in progress. Nobody can use your weaknesses against you once you are aware of them. The way toxic individuals gain their influence on you is by highlighting your weaknesses while downplaying your abilities.
Sometimes toxic individuals will trap you like a prey animal; you are aware that you don’t have to submit to them but that there will be repercussions if you do. Making decisions from a position of strength rather than feeling dominated is the key. What other people think of you won’t matter if you can own your talents and limitations since you’ll be able to see that your advantages outweigh your disadvantages, if not completely. In these circumstances, you must maintain your composure; else, he will take advantage of your unwavering affection.
5. Don’t Discriminate: Be considerate, sympathetic, polite, and understanding—but do so first and foremost towards yourself. While responding to an abusive brother, do not lose hope in him- believe he can come out of it. He is your family, after all.
At the furthest limits of your limitations, compassion and strength may coexist peacefully. If you don’t hurt anybody else in the process, setting boundaries will always be simpler to feel comfortable about.
6. Talk to Someone: Dealing with toxic individuals, especially abusive brothers, requires a lot of energy. Consequently, it’s a good idea to discuss the situation with someone else.
This may be a friend, a member of the family, a therapist, or a helpline for domestic abuse. You can process what’s happening by speaking with someone else.
7. Give him space: With an abusive brother, you just cannot reason with them.
Stay as far away from him as you can (but dont completely cut him out of your life) until he is ready to quit treating you this way if he is verbally or emotionally assaulting you.
Asking him to leave for a brief period or taking your parents away and leaving him alone for some time to cope, hence reflecting on his behavior.
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Despite our best efforts to safeguard them, children sometimes turn to aggressiveness when faced with violence. Why? For the same causes that have persisted for countless years: annoyance, rage, desire for power, and control. But even so, your brother’s mistreatment of you and your parents is still utterly reprehensible.
Although dealing with an abusive sibling can be challenging and upsetting, there are things you can do to address the problem and safeguard yourself. And by outlining those potential approaches, this article has done it justice. Keep in mind that you deserve to live in a secure and encouraging atmosphere.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.