How to choose the right guy between two: Have you ever felt at the crossroads of choosing between two men? It is not easy to have an undecided heart, and to know that sooner or later, you will have to choose one of the two. But… What is the best option? Follow these tips to decide between two men, if you feel that your heart cannot do it for you.
Follow these tips to decide between two men, if you feel that your heart cannot do it for you.
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10 Tips On How To Choose The Right Guy Between Two
1. Determine the qualities of each: One of the best tips for choosing between two candidates is to determine what you want and need in a partner. To do this, make a list of the qualities that you think your ideal partner should have, those that every good guy should have, such as loyalty, kindness, chivalry, kindness, etc. And then see which of them fulfills them better. However, if you’re waiting for this to happen so you can decide, forget it.
You will never get 100% information or security. The first thing is to accept what is going to be lost, because with each choice something is lost. What you do not choose, logically. In this way you will increase your capacity for frustration and even if you don’t like losing, we don’t have to get frustrated about it.
2. Who would be more compatible with you: Compatibility with respect to certain aspects in life, such as lifestyle, personality, goals, is another determinant in choosing between two men. This list will serve as a guide and help you know which guy is best for you.
Also see: Advantages and Disadvantages of Being in a relationship
3. Compare the two suitors: We’re not saying it’s all right, but if your heart is undecided, you can compare pros and cons, flaws and virtues between both suitors. Write down each other’s name on a piece of paper, and consider what you value most in a relationship. The time will come when it will be clear which one is the right one.
Don’t choose. How? Well yes, do not choose. You can try one and if it doesn’t work try the other, if the one you expected hasn’t already gone. Do not judge or blame yourself, life is like that. You could also make them simultaneous without committing to either. They can judge you, yes, but don’t judge yourself. You can also look for other options, a third or a fourth, for example, and go from the initial two options, which may not fill you enough right now to choose them. Our brain is dual and when there are two options, reason and heart become looped. If other possibilities of choice are incorporated, it is unblocked, it subtracts weight from the decision and this allows us to decide more clearly.
4. Consider your feelings and sensations when you see each one: Perhaps the most important thing is to consider the feelings that guide you towards each of the candidates to inhabit your heart. How do you feel in their company? Which one is more loving to you? Who are you most sexually attracted to? The answers, if they come from the heart, will be the truth.
Listen to your heart. How nice, right? Although it sounds corny, listening to our body and emotions is what will help us the most. Think of one of the options and imagine yourself with him or her as a couple. What do you feel? What emotions appear? Does this possibility generate well-being or discomfort? What happens to your body? Does it tense or relax? Try drinking water and see if you have trouble swallowing or not, it seems unreliable but it works quite well.
And repeat the same exercise with the other option. If you feel good with one, or better, and your body relaxes and one generates more pleasant sensations than the other, keep that in mind when choosing one. Your body is wise and wanting to pass everything through the filter of reason can make you lose sight of what you really want, what makes you happy, and guide yourself by what you should or think you have to do. Because, in the end, even if one fits more with your basic needs or your idea of love or your partner, you decide with your heart, listening to our emotions and sensations. Don’t underestimate your intuition.
Also see: Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Single
5. Look for warnings: Sometimes we pretend to see everything good, but we forget to observe certain warnings and ignore them. It’s time to look at the situation objectively, and take into account subtle signs that you may have ignored, such as a negative attitude, going too fast, or if one of the two is not seriously interested in you.
6. Keep in mind how each man handles himself in life: It is also important to know how you handle yourself in life, how you react on a bad day or in the face of some frustration. What are your methods of dealing with problems? Do you learn from your mistakes or refuse to admit when something goes wrong? Think that if you share your life with him, this will affect you. Pick a good time. You will not choose the same if you feel sad or insecure.
In that state, you are more likely to make a more rational decision that keeps you within your comfort zone. You know, that physical or symbolic place, where nothing new happens and no progress is made, because the king is fear. To choose moving forward, take advantage of your calmer and happier days, not euphoric, to make decisions from well-being and calm.
These days you will connect more with your essence and desires, without anxiety, or with something less, and your decision will be more courageous and consistent with “I choose, not my fears”. In the end, life is simpler than it seems. Perhaps, before using any strategy, you already know who you want as a partner and who for other things, although it is difficult for you to admit it.
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7. Infidelity: Infidelity is a key issue when dealing with a relationship. If either of the two guys keeping you on the fence has a liberal outlook, or you think he’s a hummingbird, that can be a big deciding factor.
8. Imagine life without either of them: Another test to be able to decide between two men is to imagine different situations in life in which they break your heart. ADVERTISING With which of the two did you find it unbearable? Which one couldn’t you bear to lose? The answer will be crucial. an image
9. Who do you expect to call? When your phone rings, be it a call or a message. Who do you think of first? If when you hear from one, but you are sad that it is not from your other candidate, the sign is in sight. They are great little indicators of your heart.
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10. Bet on singleness: Simply to enjoy it or because having to choose already stresses you out too much and perhaps taking a step back will help you clear things up. In addition, sometimes we look for qualities in the couple that serve as a band-aid to heal our shortcomings. They are those that we really need to work on ourselves but that, when discovering them in someone, we feel that magical attraction, protection or salvation.
But this does not generate very healthy relationships, because you are going to demand that security, ability or protection from the couple and it is going to become a dependent relationship. Of course couples complement each other, but the key is not what we choose but from where we choose it. Work your weak points and you will not choose from necessity.
There’s something I love doing whenever I’m choosing partners in business, it has to do with writing down the qualities I want and looking for those who have it, and I’m brutal about it. Again I look at my deficiencies and know whether this person has it or not. Let’s say, if you’re looking for a woman, then you should check if your job requires you to work almost two four seven, then you should consider getting a woman who has the time to help around the house.
Maybe not a housewife kind of material, but someone who would have the time to clean up, cook, etc., and not just work like you. I also look at my deficiencies as regards temperament. Such that, as I’m a quiet person, I would like to be with not just someone who is boisterous but someone who complements my quietness. Someone who at least makes me feel more like a human being, and not a freak, or lonely, for being quiet.
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P.S: There is an erroneous belief that women have that says the following: When a man shows interest, run away so that he will continue chasing you. Do this in the following instances, a) When he asks you out, b) When he wants to buy something for you, c) When he wants to introduce you to other people as his woman, d) When he tries to flirt with you. Not all men are the same, that’s why 90% of the time not all this beliefs speak the truth. Here’s the reason why:
For the first instance, men use asking you out to show you that they are really interested in you more than a friend. A friend wouldn’t just want to hang out with you, put his hand over your shoulder or hold your hand. A friend who is also not interested in you the other way would go out with his friends, so, any guy who asks you out is interested in you so take it seriously or forget it.
A guy who is serious would prepare for this day massively, mostly asking their sister, mother or relatives who are girls what they should do to get to know you better and make it a memorable day. A guy who is interested in you the otherway wouldn’t. He would just come out with no serious intentions to even get to know you.
If you are just avoiding him for no reason men (and I mean men who are serious) would take it that it means that you are not interested in marriage, but interested in dating. She wants to have an experience that someone told her about, where a rich guy spent on her. She wants to have a fly life. Or she has time to waste on walking around with numerous men to compare them with others. She doesn’t want to marry yet. Even if she wanted to marry, then she doesn’t want to marry the guy.
Smart men will immediately take the cue and will change direction. Don’t waste your time, they will not come back. Even if you had genuine reasons make sure to tell him and let him know that you are also interested. Telling a guy that You understand what he wants but it’s better, you do it some other time, ok? I have this, that and those to work on. So it’s better done some other time.
That he’s a cool guy and you know he’s trying to check things out with and that’s ok. You’re interested in checking things out with him, that’s why you want to concentrate and do it some other time because your mind won’t even be there now with a gentle squeeze of the hand; there is no guy on earth that wouldn’t agree to do it some other time and if he was to leave you then he is the fool there. (A peck here would be too much and a hug would communicate friendship or childishness so not recommended).
Another erroneous belief is that you should insult or look down on him a little, so that he would improve. The insult here means that you should be materialistic to a reasonable extent, maybe tell him that he is not wealthy enough to have you, or throw quips and insults here and there occasionally, or just ignore him…many men would take this seriously and my friend, you are finished if you don’t tell him that you’re just pulling his legs. Stay clear of such attitudes and when you pick the right person then they would be willing to go the extra mile with you.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.