Best Relationship Books For Single People: One of the most important factors responsible for a quality life is the kind of relationships maintained. Many people continue to suffer over the years because of the terrible decisions they made and the toxic relationships they entered into earlier on in life. This write up is a guide on how to build terrific relationships and how we can be exposed to the true concept of love in these relationships.
The books recommended are great books with principles which can be incorporated into our everyday lives and which can help transform a loveless and boring life and relationships to a more vibrant and terrific relationship.
The principles in these books recommended must be inculcated in an individual’s day to day life if the results are to be experienced exponentially. The books are recommended in no particular order as they all have the attribute of excellent authorship.
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Best Relationship Books For Single People
1. The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman: This book is a masterpiece on the subject in question. The author is a professional in the field of marriage and relationships. The author explains seven core principles that are capable of making marriage thrive.
These principles according to many experts can be utilized in marriage as well as other forms of human relationships. The author believes in everyday practice of these principles as this according to him is a sure way of obtaining the desired results.
For persons who are truly interested in making their marriage work, this is a must read. The author believes that these principles are best implemented when they are known before hand. In situations where a person becomes aware of them before marriage and starts imbibing them even before marriage, they will bear unimaginable results.
2. Fed Up: Emotional Labour, Women and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley: The author of this piece is a foremost author in propagating the idea that woman are not nags, but they they are merely fed up. Many a times, men often complain that women are nag and that they are constantly complaining about one thing or another.
This according to this author is not entirely true. This books gives a proper exposition into the nature of women and why it seems as though they are constantly nagging. The author believes that women resort to constant complaining and nagging when they are under extreme emotional labour. The author gives suggestions on how to manage relationships so well that the other party does not get to the point of constant nagging and complaining.
Also, the secrets on how to better communicate in a relationship without resorting to constant nagging and being taken not too seriously are well juxtaposed by the author. It is a must read for persons who wish to be skilled in the art of communication in an emotional and informal environment.
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3. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Johnson Sue: This book gives an exposition on what love truly means and how it does not only involve romantic and sexual activities. There seem to be a big misunderstanding about the concept of love and people now think that being in a sexual or romantic relationship can be likened to being in love.
This the author clearly debunks. According to the author, there are certain conversations and discussions that serve as the pillars to every relationship. It is only when they are had and agreements made on certain aspects of the relationship that the relationship can stand the test of difficulties.
The author expertly explains how to communicate with a spouse and in situations when listening and being quiet without responding will be the best course of action instead of giving responses and trying to be defensive. The author happens to be the originator of Emotionally – Focused Therapy (EFT), which happens to be one of the best forms of therapy for marriages.
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4. The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate, By Gray Chapman: In this piece, Chapman highlighted five love languages to include; words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of services and physical touch. The writer in this very piece paints a picture suggesting that the love language of people may fifer. For instance, while one partner’s love language may be act of services, that of the other could be by words of affirmation.
Now, this creates a setting whereby each partner is required to discover that which the other partner perceives as an act of love. Chapman also highlighted how relationships can benefit through the five love languages which includes; creation of empathy, promotion of intimacy, selflessness, personal growth and sharing of love.
The five love languages are a center piece of human relationship. The writer employed a relaxed diction and practical illustration which are well engaging. Gray Chapman is a senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church, North Carolina. He holds a PH.D in philosophy.
5. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what matters most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen: When we are in relationships, there are times when difficult issues come up that we are supposed to discuss with our better half. Most persons find it difficult to talk about these and just push these conversations to an uncertain future.
This avoidance method of dealing with difficulties begin to affect the relationship negatively without us even knowing. This book gives practical guide on how to go about having these difficult conversations and reaching decisions. Bringing up these conversations for discussion and deliberation goes a long way to show that we are committed to the relationship and interested in making it work despite the perceived difficulty. It goes a long way to portray us as being responsible.
The difficult conversations could relate to health issues, a disease we or the other person has, issues relating to our jobs, money, responsibilities in the home among others. Having these conversations and reaching an amicable agreement goes a long way to positively influence our relationships.
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6. The Sex Starved Marriage: Boosting your Marriage Libido by Michele Davis: Most relationships usually begin with lots of romantic and sexual intimacy. However, as time goes on, it seems as though the drive is no longer there to keep this intimacy going.
Sometimes, some people even resort to seeking the satisfaction they deserve outside their relationships. This book gives practical steps on how a sex deprived partner can nurture his or her relationship to a state of glorious sexual activities with a partner. This may just be the solution to most of problems encountered in the relationship.
7. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by John Gray: John Gray is a relationship counselor and a psychologist. This text was originally published in 1992. The writer employed philosophical, psychological and pragmatic approach to highlight and illustrate the complexities of the two existing genders; male and female. That men and women are from an entirely different planets; mars and venus. Gray used the planet mars to represent the complexities of men, and used the planet venus to represent the complexities of women. The lifestyle, language, perception and policies is the planet mars (men) differs from that of planet venus (women).
Therefore, in order for the two genders to ever come together and become compatible at the very first instance, both must have studied and understood the lifestyle and languages of the other’s planet. The writer tries to illustrate that men react to life different which is unfavourable to their female counterpart, for instance, the practice of entering into the cave, focusing on finishing a task. He likened women to emotional beings reacting to life situations in a different manner which the male counterparts would have to learn the venus language in order to comprehend. Gray in this piece employed symbolisms. This is a recommended text for singles to help them appreciate the uniqueness of the opposite sex and handle them better. .
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8. Models: Attract Women through Honestly by Mark Manson: There can be no successful marriage or relationship without the existence of emotional intelligence. This book gives a proper exposure into what a man will gain by showing emotional intelligence.
The place of emotional intelligence and it’s importance in relationships is properly discussed. Honestly is a great tool that can be used to ones advantage in a relationship. The author tells how and when it should be used.
9. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heler: Different adults demonstrate different levels of attachment. How to deal with these attachments from our spouses and control our level of attachment to our spouses are elaborately discussed in this book.
How to be attached with moderation is emphasized. Showing no sign of emotional attachment is a sure way to make our spouses feel insecured. But being too attached can also be very burdensome. All of these and how to circumvent through a partner are well discussed by the authors.
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10. The Mastery of Love by Don Ruiz: There are so many truths and falacies about love and relationships. The author expertly distinguish between both and explains how to thrive and build terrific love relationships. So many people experience too many challenges in their live lives.
The reason according to the author for this phenomenal is that people don’t take their time to study about love and those they are in relationships with. If they do, they will not be in many of the difficulties they may be encountering. It’s a must read for those who genuinely want to build a lasting and meaningful love life.
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11. Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices For Couples To Enhance Intimacy, Nuture Closeness And Grow A Deeper Connection – By S.j Scott And Barrier Davenport: Just like the title suggests, the book is centered on being mindful with one’s habit in a relationship. The writers focused on the complexities of relationships which includes that inasmuch as it is easier to fall in love, the center of reality is the struggle of preserving the relationship while dealing with the real world. The writers refer readers to the mindful positive relationship habits which are observed during the early stage of relationship, and urges readers not to neglect them. Being mindful simply suggests being conscious, engaged, aware and present. To be successful in a relationship, certain acts and choices of yours has to be intentional.
There must be a positive act and conscious approach. The writers then discussed the topics under 25 headings with practical philosophical and psychological practices. These various illustrations were supported with scientific research. While being intentional about your habits in a relationship, the writers also suggest how those intentional habits can be incorporated as a natural practice in a relationship. This piece is geared towards the endpoints which includes; using habits to revive one’s love, reasons why relationships fail, and the benefits of building a mindful relationship.
Mindful Relationship Habits was published in January 2, 2018 by createSpace Independent Publishing platform. This piece is a must read not just for singles. There have been positive testimonies flowing from readers as to the reality of this piece. By this book, your shattered relationship could be restored. Lukewarm ones could become fervent, and fervent ones could be sustained.
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12. I HEAR YOU: THE SUPRISINGLY SIMPLE SKILL BEHIND EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIPS, BY MICHAEL S. SORENSEN: In his book, Michael Sorensen employed practical techniques illustrating the improvement of one’s relationship with another. He highlighted and illustrated tips to foster a better relationship. The writer discussed the principle of validation; validation of people’s feeling which involves identifying people’s emotions and knowing how best to employ empathy.
It is a practical and extended approach to improving one’s listening skill and how they affect one’s relationship with another. The book was published on 10th June, 2017 by Autumn Creek Press.
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Conclusion
Love is a very important component of life, and as such, we must invest in it. Taking time to study about love and relationships from experts is no doubt one sure way of getting ahead in matters of love. These are some of my best recommendations for those who really do intend to forge ahead in matters of love.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.