How to approach a girl you like in school: In our day to day lives as human beings, men or women, we come across people who we like instantly of the opposite sex sometimes and we may want to talk to them. For many guys, this is an issue because there is no explicit guide on how to approach the girl or what to say to her without the situation turning awkward.
Also, once puberty hits, the attraction to the opposite sex begins for a lot of young people out there. This is usually curtailed till later years of their lives either as older boys and girls or men and women but sooner than later when the need to mingle gets serious, the issue of approaching the girl usually comes up for the males and this is constantly the elephant in the room which has been held to be responsible for the singlehood of so many young men and women out there.
This does not have to be so hence this friendly write up which is to be a guide especially to guys on how to successfully approach that beautiful girl in mind and also simple tips on how to maintain the frienship or relationship with her.
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Necessary steps to take in approaching a girl
The following are the necessary steps and tips when considering how to approach her and also a guide on what to say to her in the conversation.
1. Lay a foundation: if you are patient and not in a haste to approach the lady immediately then check out her routine and try to bump into her sometimes or notice her interests and get involved there. For instance if she’s in a bookclub you can join too and create an avenue to meet, make eye contacts and don’t just turn away but smile, greet her when you pass by, be nice to her generally.
There’s a little risk involved in this stage and it is being friend zoned. In trying to lay a foundation, do not get close enough to be perceived as a friend, else the lady will begin to think of you as a friend and may feel betrayed when you eventually come out with your real intention or she may then not even take you seriously. It is always better to remain the mysterious knight in shining armour (mysterious not creepy) as this will hold her interest, more like a suspenseful story.
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2. Be observant: it is imperative to look at and take note of the supervening circumstances in the environment where the girl is at the moment and where you plan to approach her so that you can use those events to your advantage to start a conversation easily. For instance, it may be at a cafeteria where there is a long queue with you in front, you can just get any stuff that you may have noticed previously that she likes but this may be a wrong move if she is with her friends because even if you get what she wants she may not want to leave her friends on the queue and you’ll lose the opportunity to talk which is what you want.
Also on this point, it is necessary to look for signals from the woman, check to see whether or not she is relaxed and smiling or unsettled and irritated, whether she is rather too busy to have her day interrupted by a stranger or a semi stranger as the case may be. All these will go a long way to determine the success of your attempt at conversation or actual conversation.
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3. Approach with confidence but be chill: after the first two steps above or the second step alone of you please, it’s now time to actually approach the lady. No one wants to listen to anyone interrupting their day and starting with a stutter, you must try as much as possible to he confident, give yourself a little pep talk and just imagine that you are going for a job interview with a salary of ten million per month and adopt the confidence you’d need to pull that interview through but in order not too overdo or end up sounding cocky, you also need to be in your elements, be yourself and talk like you’re with your best hommies but with no stutter in your voice, your head held high and constant eye contact.
Any woman would like a man with chills and confidence, hence if you are able to pull this stage successfully then a girl who is not even ready to have a friend or be in a relationship would be reconsidering.
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4. Put her at ease: Trust issues is a very real thing in the world today based on various circumstances people find themselves in and the insecurity issues of the country and world at large, ordinarily when you approach a girl she get suspicious and apprehensive with a million bad thoughts of what you may want with her and this would make her defenses to be up hence to get a girl to listen to you she must feel safe in your presence.
You can do this by looking less shady; avoid wearing hoodies or face caps, masks or heavily shaded glasses when approaching a lady for the first time, also do not approach her from the side and out of nowhere like you’re coming to assault rather approach directly from the front, endeavour to put your hands in plain sight and not in your pocket like you may pull a weapon out at anytime and even if you think it is a joke avoid conversations that tow the line of violence, stick to pedestrian subjects that are safer.
5. Respect her time: it is best to avoid all rude behaviours when trying to get a lady to like you and it is very rude and quite irking to keep trying to talk to a person who has expressly told you that they are busy especially when it is obvious that they and even if it not, do not insist on it if the lady “claims” to be busy instead try again later.
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6. Getting her contact: it is a turn off for many people if you just want to get their contact upon meeting them but it’s also not much of a big deal to others but to be on a safe space, if you’re sure that you will bump into the lady in question again then wait until another meeting to get her contact and further the conversation from there but if there’s no much chance of meeting the lady again then just ask for her contact so as to be able to reach her and continue your discussion later.
7. Ask her out: If you succeed in all the stages above, you will have the girl as your friend even if she knows you want more. Always let them know you want more than friendship if that’s what your intention is so as to escape the friend zone and then ask her out for your first date.
Your first date should be informal and relaxed rather than formal but depending on what you think the lady wants and try to avoid all inappropriate behaviour. Also, a first date should never be at your house or hostel if you’re a student.
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8. Be a sportsman about rejection: it is not every time that we get what we want and if you ask a girl out and she says no, the problem must not be from you, maybe she’s just not ready to be in a relationship. But this does not mean that you should not give talking to another girl that you like a try and do not let any rejection touch your esteem. We fail or lose to come back fiercer and more refined.
For more interesting tips on how to approach a girl you like in school and speak to her confidently, I strongly recommend you to watch the YouTube video below. This video explains everything you need.
Tips on how to maintain the relationship or friendship
a. Manage your time
b. Do not be a hovering boyfriend; give each other space sometimes.
c. Discuss the future and know where the relationship is headed.
d. Always be truthful to each other about everything that concerns the relationship.
e. And most importantly, let love lead all you do for each other.
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In conclusion, approaching a girl you like or maintaining a relationship once into it may have looked like a Herculean task but not anymore, the steps above are the easiest and most authentic that will lead you to a happy friendship or relationship and help you maintain it. But always remember, rejection is not a finality but an opportunity to come back fiercer and more refined.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.