Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples: Marriage is a union bound by love. Love is believed to be characterized by deep emotional feeling, strong intimate connection, affection and care for another. Love exists in cases or between people who share common intimate values. Due to the strong affection shared by lovers, it could be painted as a state of emotional vulnerability in a positive way. Parties decide to compromise some of their strong principles and belief in order to enjoy a new found affection. Love between couples (a man and woman) of grows into Marriage.
Marriage on its own is a union between a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others. Marriage is believed to be for adults. In simpler terms, it is meant for persons who has attained certain age and degree of maturity. It is a lifetime commitment meant for individuals who understands the what it is to be in a union for the rest of their lives. The challenges experienced in marriages are relative and so, each marriage has its own peculiar challenges. A strong reason for these is that; the couples are two adults from different family background and upbringing and so, they are accustomed to different values and orientation about life.
Coming together to meet and experience a new point of view and get to be questioned on their inherent believes and values tend to be quite a lot to bear. This in turn causes periodic misunderstanding among couples (especially newly married couples). At the very beginning, the couples might be having blissful moments of intimacy and affection and at thesame time; getting to learn about each other. The process of learning about your spouse can be seen as a gradual process. We shall take a look at some of the very issues that challenge couples in a marriage.
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10 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples
1. Ignoring boundaries: Most relationships begins with the parties getting to know each other throught the stage called; courtship stage. At this point, the parties are trying to understand their common interest and fascinations. At this point, boundaries may or may not be set however, where clear boundaries are not set before they properly get into marriage or, they failed to respect the set boundaries after getting married, it becomes a major basis for marital conflicts.
It is always advised that couples should keep and observe boundaries in certain circumstances. A good example is where the man or the woman is fond of the habit of going through the spouses phone and other sensitive stuffs. It might be an issue stemming from distrust and emotional mismanagement.
2. Lack of sexual intimacy: Sex is one of the most engaged activities between married couples. It is believed that the couples owe themselves the right to sexual intimacy and so, lack of it might not be taken so likely. It is no longer speculations or rare imagination that most marriages has witnessed untimely seperation due to lack of sexual intimacy.
In some situations, it arises as a result of individual engagements and consequent stress thereby leading to excuses. It is one of the common marriage problems faced by couples.
3. Emotional or sexual Infidelity: Infidelity is a situation of unfaithfulness to a partner. Emotional infidelity in this case addresses the unavailability of a partner when they are in need of an emotional companion and in some cases, such unfaithful partner might decide to share such emotional attachment with an outsider or someone else other than their actual partner.
Same applies to sex. It is a serious factor that spurs marital conflicts.
4. Financial Management: Money can be a very topical issue in marriages. Ranging from making it to how it is being spent, what it is being spent on and who spends it. The man is usually the bread winner of the family and so, most of the financial obligations rests on his shoulders however, in a situation where the wife is also gainfully employed and earns a certain sum at the end of a month or annually, the issue as to contribution begins to arise.
In some situation, the man begins to press for substantial contribution from the wife whereas the wife might not be in support of it. In other situations, the course may disagree amongst themselves as to who gets what and who spends what. Financial management can be one of the common marriage problems.
5. Selfishness: As earlier highlighted, the couples are set of individuals from two different family backgrounds with different orientations about life. They are going to be facing a lot of difficulty trying to adjust and adopt a new principle.
Humans are naturally selfish and so, being in a relationship or marriage doesn’t change that human trait. Sometimes, chances are that the couples may be so focused on themselves and their well-being that they tend to forget about the needs of their spouse. It can be very intense and so, it is one of the most common marital conflicts amongst couples.
6. Value differences: The concept of individual differences and behavioral dispositions rooted on divergent values and personal philosophy and orientations cannoy be overemphasized. As a result of individual differences, there are chances that couples may disagree on certain goals and values.
Their moral standards may differ, their personal perceptions about what is important and what should be treated with less attention may also differ to a certain extent and so, value difference is a major challange or problem in marriage.
7. Different Life Stages: Being married comes with a lot of changes. As life comes in phases, humans undergo life stages.
These life stages could be a subject of change in behavior and understanding. One might find it more destabilizing than the other and in a situation where the other couple does not fully comprehend the situation, it becomes a subject of serious disagreement.
8. Lack Of Communication: It is often opined that Communication acts like an oil that greases the wheel of any relationship. This may remain true of false however, it is not in doubt that Communication is quite important in any active relationship or instrumental to the revival of any relationship.
Couples get to quarrel a lot and sometimes fight over lack of frequent conversation which helps them relate and share quality time together. It also helps them understand their differences and best ways to deal with them.
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9. Jealousy: Love can be very intense. In some situations, it can be taken to the extreme. Some couples have been Identified to be overwhelmed with jealousy for their couples. Jealousy is an emotional feeling of insecurity or fear of the other couple being unfaithful.
Believing that there is a chance of their partner engaging in an unwholesome conduct that would be adverse to their love and affection. It can be very serious. Couples who love themselves dearly face such challenges especially where they are having trust issues as well. Jealousy is one of the most serious problems in most marriages.
10. Extended Family: There are types of families however, the two most common types are the nuclear and extended family. The nuclear family consist of the husband, wife and the children while the extended family will include the parents and family relations.
In most situations, the extended family members seem to be an issue for which couple come to a disagreement. It might be from the husband or wife’s point of view. Sometimes they try to meddle in the affairs of the couples thereby spurring a cause for the couples to disagree.
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In conclusion, marriage is not for children or people who are not fully prepared or do not fully comprehend the intricacies sorrounding the union. Marriage can pose so much challenges but where the couples are matured and reasonable, they always get over it by working it out within themselves.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.