How To Maintain a Good Relationship: People are difficult to understand. We have so many tangled relationships. When two people meet against all circumstances, their expectations may differ. Two unique personalities, each with their own baggage, can cause a slew of problems. It’s no surprise that most partnerships are just fleeting.
You could be attempting to figure out if you’re in a decent relationship. A healthy adult relationship is one in which both parties have equal rights, opportunities, and responsibilities. Essentially, healthy relationships are founded on one individual respecting the other and being able to communicate properly.
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Characteristics of a healthy relationship
1. Honesty & Accountability: Accepting responsibility for one’s own acts, confessing prior use of violence, admitting when one is wrong, speaking openly and honestly, maintaining one’s word, and not making excuses for your partner’s or one’s own behavior. A relationship is founded on honesty rather than deception.
2. Open communication: Open communication is being able to communicate your views or opinions, recognizing it is alright to disagree, stating what you mean, and meaning what you say. Communication is built on explaining concerns, expressing sentiments, and working together to find mutually fulfilling solutions.
If one partner injures the other in any manner, they accept responsibility and make the necessary modifications in their display of love for the other spouse.
3. Negotiation & Fairness: Seeking mutually satisfactory dispute settlements, and being ready to discover solutions that are acceptable to both parties. Recognize that your wants and needs are as legitimate as your spouse’s (you don’t have to agree to respect your partner and understand differences of opinion).
When disagreements arise, try to see the problem from your partner’s eyes and work through them together (agreeing to disagree sometimes, willing to compromise). There is no topic or problem more essential than the partnership — “winning the debate” is viewed as damaging the relationship.
4. Economic partnership: The economic partnership includes making financial decisions jointly, ensuring that both partners benefit from financial agreements, splitting dating expenses, and agreeing that both partners must work.
5. Shared Responsibility: Making choices jointly, sharing, or exchanging expenditures on dates is an example of shared responsibility. Being aware of the other person’s as well as your own needs – doing things for each other, going to locations you both like, and giving as much as you get.
6. Shared Power: In general, each person has an equal voice in the partnership, yet one person may have a bigger say due to more knowledge or expertise in a particular area. Each is aware of the other’s goals and requirements (as well as your own). The people see themselves as part of a pair that provides them more satisfaction and helps them to be stronger.
7. Belief and help: Being supportive, wanting the best for your relationship, knowing your partner likes you, knowing you can rely on your partner, providing encouragement when needed, and being alright with your spouse having various pals because the couple feels safe expressing confidential elements of each other’s thoughts and feelings, there is no jealously or possessiveness.
Individuals can lower their boundaries and enable others to view their perceived flaws without fear of unwanted reactions. Individuals might be open to what others are feeling.
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8. Non-Dangerous Behavior: Talking and acting in such a way that each one feels secure and comfortable expressing and doing things.
9. Respect: Treat the other person with dignity. Find ways to admire them just for who they are. Differing opinions, sentiments, and ideas, for example, are welcomed and appreciated. Recognize your spouse for who he or she is and what he or she brings to the relationship. Expect the other person to change so that you can satisfy all of your expectations.
Paying attention to your spouse, acknowledging your partner’s point of view, even if it varies from yours, listening to what she has to say, nonjudgmentally listening to her, and being emotionally affirming and understanding Neither spouse is a violent individual.
10. Physical Affection: Holding hands, embracing, kissing, and sitting with your arm on your partner’s shoulder are all examples of affection. Respecting each other’s right to say no and requesting permission before acting.
11. Personal Integrity: Partners can keep values and a feeling of self while also giving time and attention to the partnership. Partners enjoy some independence and privacy and are concerned about one other’s well-being. Working on a relationship always starts with working on ourselves and accepting responsibility for our actions (be accountable).
Things to do to maintain a good and healthy relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend
1. Suggest an activity that means something special to your partner: If you know how your spouse feels about certain topics, you may utilize that knowledge to express how you feel about your mate. Each of us links words and memories with feelings. It’s as easy as that: pleasant words and memories lead to positive emotions.
Good feelings around or towards our partners may help us feel more attracted or linked to them, therefore if you make your spouse feel good, you can be sure your partner will feel good towards you as well. If your spouse links the beach with their happiest memory and you offer to go to the beach, they will feel good about you. When you mention the beach, their delight will quickly spring to life, and that emotion will be passed on to how they behave.
2. Say something to your partner that they genuinely want to hear: Many times, in a relationship, we fail to thank or congratulate our spouse when we should. We may resist doing it out of ego or pride, or we may avoid doing it out of selfishness. It’s when your spouse is proud of anything in their life and is looking for a nice word from you, but all you offer them is a blank stare, or worse, you say something bad instead of something positive.
For example, suppose you went bowling and they bowled a perfect game, and you were upset because you lost, so instead of making them feel good, you made them feel awful for winning. When you suppress praises or praise due to ego or pride, you miss out on an opportunity to truly make your spouse feel good about themselves and about you. You can only win if you make your partner happy.
3. Spend Time Highlighting the Relationship’s Positives: This isn’t about you or your spouse; rather, it’s about your connection. This emphasizes the good aspects of the partnership. Pointing up what is working in the connection goes against what we generally do, which is to bring out what is not working in the relationship.
One day of this may not be enough for you, and it may become a weekly or monthly ritual for you. Personally, I believe that this should be done at least once a week. Not only will talking about why your relationship is excellent make you feel closer, but it will also allow you to do more of the activities you enjoy because you will recognize the impact it has on your relationship.
4. Use Your Time Together Wisely: Don’t squander any time today. Keep it in mind and cherish it when you’re together. Live in the present moment. So frequently, we allow ourselves to become engrossed in watching TV or using the computer that we fail to see our spouse sitting next to us.
This is not good for the relationship. When you’re together, make an effort to laugh and have fun. If something is upsetting you, talk about it and get it out of the way so you can enjoy your time together fully.
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5. Discuss Your Life Together Since You Met: In a committed relationship, your life is inextricably linked. You most certainly spend at least half or more of your time together. That’s a significant portion of your life. Reflecting on your time together will naturally draw you closer together. You’ll feel more like a team in life, and you’ll be more conscious of what your spouse does for you and with you.
When you recognize you are a team, you will begin to act more like a team in your daily life. One item to consider is new experiences you’ve had together, such as purchasing your first home or taking your first trip to Maui. These are life events that you have shared together, which is fantastic.
6. Discuss how you met and your feelings at the time: Reflecting on the circumstances that led up to your meeting will not only make you feel great, but will also revive your early feelings of love, infatuation, and want. When you begin to properly discuss those early days, you will feel the same emotions that you did at the time, and as a result, you will begin to feel the same way for your partner at the time.
Reminiscing about the past after being with someone for years may rekindle some great desires. It doesn’t matter how many times you do it since those sentiments will never alter. Not unless you had a time machine capable of recreating a fresh emotion from the past. Those are the types of memories you’ll cherish for the rest of your life.
7. Make a game out for bringing out the great qualities of the other person: This does not have to occur after some wonderful achievement that deserves to be celebrated. This is all about them as individuals and may be played at any time of day, regardless of what is going on. You and may sit down and take turns telling each other what you admire about them.
Maybe they can play the guitar like a rock star or make you giggle no matter how bad you are feeling. Tell them what their own pluses are. Don’t generalize by stating anything like, “You’re hilarious.” Make it more explicit by stating something like, “You always know how to make me laugh when you make that ridiculous look.” The more particular you are, the more meaningful it will be to your spouse.
8. Make a special date that focuses solely on the high points of your relationship: Remember how you felt when you were talking about when you first met and experiencing those feelings?
This is going to reproduce – or maybe even surpass – that sensation. Make a date with your partner and plan to spend the time seeing sites that have meant a lot to you.
So many times, in life, we might become engrossed in our daily routines and neglect our relationships. While this may not appear to make a significant difference in the relationship at first, tension may build up on a daily basis, and before you realize it, you have a year or more of hurt and ignored sentiments, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship or a split.
As a result, your best strategy is to pay attention to your connection on a daily basis. Make a major move. Make a little step. Take action. When one person helps the other to achieve, the partnership is healthy. There is no danger of one outgrowing the other. A good partnership should encourage each partner’s freedom to pursue individual interests, education, and personal growth. You both like performing activities together and are pleased when your spouse achieves achievement outside of the partnership.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.