10 Relationship Red Flags: Relationships have very significant placements in human living. They are very crucial to our mental health. The parties involved are meant to thrive and flourish in healthy ones. However, there is a possibility that a person can focus most of their attention on finding ‘partners’ who’d love them, and who they’d love in return, that they may ignore any red flag in the relationship.
When this happens, there is no guarantee that such a person would thrive in such a setting or that the relationship would last or be worthwhile. In this article, we would get into the meaning of the term ‘red flag’, and how to easily spot them in our relationships.
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Meaning of Red Flags
A ‘red flag‘ is an idiom that refers to a signal, warning, or cue; a hint at impending doom or danger. We usually encounter them at the start of something, and they are there to deter us from continuing with such a project or task.
In relationships, whether they are romantic or not, red flags are cues that should discourage us from continuing the former.
They can be character traits or triggering events or just conditions that make any of the parties uncomfortable. As much as you like your friend or partner, red flags should not be ignored.
Furthermore, you must realize that a red flag isn’t just an indication of the other person’s bad character. It could be a pointer to an unhealthy situation in the future or even a sign of incompatibility. You must find them and address them.
10 Biggest Red Flags you Shouldn’t Ignore in A Relationship
Here are a few red flags:
1. Inadequate Communication: Communication is the footing for any prosperous relationship. This is why it is crucial for the parties in a relationship to feel like they can express their feelings without the anxiety of judgment.
Very few couples start their relationships perfectly communicating, so it isn’t necessarily a red flag if your partner struggles with self-expression.
Nevertheless, if your partner insists on ignoring your feelings or refuses to communicate theirs, it could be a red flag. This also covers hurtful or ineffective communication.
2. Lack of Respect: Everyone needs their personal space once in a while, even if they are in a relationship. Granted, relationships create the idea of unionism in all affairs, but in reality, people have limits to their interactions and what situations they are comfortable with.
If your partner does not allow you your space when you need it (ask for it) or passes over your boundaries with every whim, this could be a serious red flag. To further explain what we mean; when people do things or remain in spaces they are uncomfortable with, there may be a terrible blowback on the relationship.
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3. Absence of Support and Consistency: Ideal relationships are mutually beneficial, so if you feel like you barely get any support from your partner, it could mean they are not committed enough and you probably shouldn’t be with them in the first place.
Still, you need to find a distinction between an inability to be there for you at certain points due to constricting factors, and an unwillingness to support and be consistent. While the latter is an indication of a sore lack of commitment and an obvious red flag, the former could also be a hint that they may not be ready for such responsibility.
4. Absence of Trust: Trust is a significant basis for any decent connection. If you believe your partner isn’t always very honest with you or is rather untrustworthy, this is a prominent indication of a weak affair.
This is a red flag also because it can be telling of a much larger problem than just the absence of faith. Believing in one another is an essential aspect of regard in relationships. Both partners would need to address the origin of the mistrust before they can move on.
5. Authoritative Behavior: A subtle but great sign of persons who are obsessed with control is that they always feel the need to make all final decisions. The next sign could be a progression into becoming needlessly wary of who you are friends with.
This is a major red flag because control freaks are extremely manipulative and can get abusive. It is healthy for both parties to feel like they have little influence in each other’s affairs. But it becomes unhealthy when all of the control leans on just one end.
6. Isolation from Family and Friends: Relationships can become very intense for both parties. Consequently, some red flags can go unnoticed in a fit of passion. To guard against this, you should try as much as possible to pay attention to less intense figures in your life like your family and friends.
If such persons think the worst of your relationship, it is a red flag that needs your attention. This is because these people might be seeing something that you are not. If this is the case, take your time and scrutinize your position for other possible red flags.
7. Persistent Feeling of Insecurity: If your partner makes you feel insecure, you need to speak up about it. You cannot string along a persistent sense of insecurity and hope for the best. If they are unfazed by the challenge, it could be a red flag.
8. Dwelling on Previous Relationships: If your partner is always talking about their former partners, it may be a hint at unsettled issues that need addressing. It is a sign you should see in the earliest stages of the relationship, and it comes with endless comparisons with such former partners.
Also, if they blame their partners for all of their woes, it could be a pointer to a lack of a sense of responsibility, and that is a red flag.
9. Lack of Remorse or Concession: So many people overlook the power of an honest apology from a partner who has done something wrong. Healthy couples take responsibility for their actions and are always eager to apologize when they wrong each other.
If your partner just won’t own up to their actions and apologize, it could be a serious red flag. This also applies if your partner is one that always finds a way to make issues about them every time they apologize. Both partners should have a healthy sense of remorse to create safe spaces for each other.
Also, healthy couples make concessions to each other when it is reasonable. If your partner rarely makes compromises to accommodate your needs and vice versa, it may be a problem for both parties.
10. Abusive Behavior: This is perhaps the biggest red flag of them all. On no account should you condone any form of abuse in your relationship; whether it is physical, emotional, or even mental.
The first thing you need to do is separate yourself from the situation before making any move to solve whatever issue is involved.
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On a final note, if you encounter any of the red flags on our list, and you are faced with the challenge of how to go about solving the issue, the first step to finding a solution is understanding that any method you employ would depend on the red fag involved, and serious the issue is.
Every issue demands a different approach. For some, simply taking some time off to cool off and evaluate things alone could solve it. For others, seeing a therapist or an experienced third party would make the needed impact. However, in the worst cases, you may need to end the relationship completely and move on.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.