How To Deal With A Stubborn Wife: Stubbornness suggests being firm and resisting; being persistent in doing something, and refusing to move or change one’s opinion. Stubbornness is an act everyone can relate to. it needs no further description.
Dealing with a stubborn wife meant here does not entail certain negative attitudes towards her; rather, the positive attitudes are intended. Every day in a marriage is a demand for its betterment tomorrow.
Being an everlasting contract, a man is sanctioned by nature and conscience to be intentional about giving the right attitude to his spouse. Dealing with women is fun but not so easy, let alone the wife who has colonized you till death does you both apart.
Women can be stubborn as well. In fact, every human being has an inherent stubborn attribute. It is the degree at which it manifests that matters. When women exhibit their own part of stubbornness, it can be annoying.
If the woman is your wife, then you must have to deal with her stubbornness. You can in fact suppress her stubborn attributes from manifesting, and this wholly depends on how you handle the situations.
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Ways To Deal With A Stubborn Wife
1. Be and build your patience: Marriage itself demands a lot of patience, ordinarily. Then, if your wife is a stubborn type, much more patience is required from you. By being patient, you will avoid the making of avoidable mistakes and wrong decisions.
Patience is all encompassing in dealing with a stubborn wife. Being patience enables you to think before you speak even in a het up situation. It enables one to postpone actions and give considerations to the other view. Being patient does not necessarily mean that the person is without feelings or emotions.
Of course, exhibiting stubborn attitudes can be annoying. It is in fact, a direct challenge to one’s patience. Patience is a virtue every man must build, for it renders one powerful in the real sense of it, and places him in utterly charge of his emotions and actions.
2. Be calm: Patience must be distinguished from calmness, for their elements seem to overlap. It is possible for one to have patience but not be calm, and vice versa. Being calm entails being peaceful, quiet and free from anger and anxiety.
Calmness is characterized by the absence of anger, worry, fear and other negative emotions. Staying calm has a shorter length of time and goes a long way to determining whether the ongoing matter would be made worse or better.
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3. Find the right time for communication: It communication is ever important in a marriage, it is most important for one who has a stubborn partner. Inasmuch as some people enjoy being stubborn, expressing your feelings about it will help get to their consciousness that they are dealing with another human being who has emotions.
More so, one can be stubborn for a reason and not just for the fun of it. Emphasis is placed on finding the right time. What constitutes a right time depends on you, your spouse, your environment and the circumstance which led to the most recent turbulence.
Through communication, you can find out from your stubborn wife what she actually wants and what triggers her stubborn phase. This will enable you to know how best to relate with her afterwards.
4. Be kind with your expression: This heading is very important. A lot of problems that arise in relationship with people in one way or the other have to do with what is being said.
How you express your thoughts and daily day to day communication with your wife is much more important than the contents of what you actually say. You might be saying the right thing but with the wrong expression. This boils down to choice of words.
It is advised that a man shows kindness at all times to her wife even in times of misdeeds. One of the reasons why your wife may be proving stubborn is that your manner of expression is deprived of kindness.
With kind words, you can actually get every normal person to take steps for you. An illustration may explain this better. Thus, there is a difference between “come here”, “come” and “please come”.
These sentences are made to get someone to take some steps away from where he or she is towards the point of attraction. But there is one out of the three which does it effortlessly. An ordinary stubborn person would not heed to the first one.
5. Continue to show love and be empathetic: Amidst her stubbornness, do not cease expressing your love for her. You can get her to do better by being empathetic. Being empathetic requires that you must try to identify and understand her thoughts, feelings or emotional state and her point of view.
This will aid you in understanding the reason for her stubborn reactions and most importantly, aid you in knowing how best to deal with it. Being empathetic translates to love. And when she is shown love through empathy, she can only but feel it and compromise her stubbornness.
6. You will have to compromise more often: Stubbornness itself implies being firm and resisting; being persistent in doing something, and refusing to move or change one’s opinion. There cannot be two utterly stubborn people in competition. If she is not compromising, the ball would be in your court to do so without much ado.
As a man, the world expects you to compromise and not be petty. Dealing with a stubborn wife, you will have to let go of the fight in most and give her an automatic win. If she is conscionable, your acts of compromise will send messages to her spine and at some points she may start to compromise too.
7. Be firm when necessary: At compromising, balance must be placed too. You must not be a puppet if her stubbornness is such that gets you to be one.
Allowing your wife to get all she wants through her stubbornness will encourage her to remain stubborn, since it operates in her favour all the time. So, the line must be drawn bold and clear.
When necessary, you must take your stance and stand firm to it. Determining when it has become necessary to be firm is relative and subjective.
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8. Commit your listening ear: Women can exhibit stubbornness when they feel ignored. Every woman wants to be listened to; even to her silent voices.
This is still the case even when her points seem petty. She does not necessarily expect solution from her complaints. Just a listening ear does the magic.
9. Avoidance technique: Still on the matter of placing a balance, not all stubborn exhibitions must be reacted to. In fact, incessant reaction to stubborn exhibitions encourages her stubbornness.
Chances are high that she finds the drama interesting. It is advised that you ignore the ones you can and face the ones you consider necessary.
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There is no hard and fast rule to dealing with a stubborn wife. Thus, it is an everyday processes to get both partners understand each other and build stronger relationship. The ultimate of all the recommended techniques is patience, for it predominates and encompasses all other techniques.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.