12 Secrets of Successful Marriages: Marriage is a sacred and adorable union. It is ordinarily a lifetime commitment undertaken by spouses unto each other. The fact that it is a lifetime proposal renders it an object of concern. Therefore, everybody consciously desires to settle with the right person, since marriage is an event which its complexities will determine a person’s state of happiness and fulfillment in his or her remaining lifetime afterwards. What is a successful marriage?
A marriage is successful when it fulfills the purpose of marriage. What then is the purpose of marriage? It seems that the purpose of marriage is more of companionship; that it, for spouses to be a lifetime companion unto each other.
Therefore, when parties to a marriage can effectively manage themselves to such extent that they become majorly compatible with each other, the marriage is said to be a successful one. Marriage is another complex world of its own. If the world of marriage is not as complex as it poses to be, there wouldn’t be need for marriage counseling and variety of books written so far on the better management of the industry. For one’s marriage to become successful, one has to put in positive efforts towards its achievement, just like in every other realm of success. In the light of these, here are practical secrets of successful marriages.
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12 Marriage Secrets of Successful Couples
1. Prioritizing your Spouse and your Marriage: The number one secret of having a successful marriage is the practice of prioritizing the person to whom you are married, as well as prioritizing the sacred existence of your marriage. When you wake up every day, be conscious of the fact that you are singularly attached to someone by the existence of the event known as marriage.
In all the decisions you would make after you have become married, you must first put the interest of your spouse and your marriage into consideration. This is the totality of the point about prioritizing your marriage. Couples must be available for themselves at all times. Any decision or act that has a perceived tendency of jeopardizing your marriage must consciously be avoided.
2. Acceptance: For a successful marriage, there must exist this level of acceptance of the spouse over the other. Acceptance is the center point of marriage, and that was why there was a proposal and an acceptance before the marriage which symbolically shows that the couple have accepted themselves. Now, for a marriage to be successful, this acceptance must be continuous. Couples must continue to accept each other as opposed to being judgmental to each others’ flaws.
Acceptance is what fosters tolerance. There cannot be genuine tolerance when there is no acceptance. It is this same acceptance that promotes peace, unity, compatibility and happiness in a marriage.
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3. Faithfulness: There cannot exist a successful marriage when both or either of the spouses to a marriage is not faithful unto the other. A marriage that does not enjoy fidelity has every existing reason to fail. In fact, such marriage has lost its purpose and as such, has failed completely. This issue of fidelity also points to the direction of prioritizing one’s marriage. Marriage is a sacred and an everlasting undertaking to be faithful to another person throughout that other person’s lifetime. Going against this undertaking is not just an injury to your spouse but an injury to the marriage itself.
The effect of infidelity can affect the innocent children of the marriage. A marriage cannot be said to be successful in the absence of fidelity by both spouses.
4. Communication: There is no dealing with human beings that works out smoothly in the absence of communication, let alone a marital relationship. Communication is a necessity for peaceful co-existence. Absence of communication is a potential threat to achieving a successful marriage. Communication makes things easier.
Spouses must be willing and openhearted enough to pour out their heart to their partner. By so doing, you are doing your marriage a favour. Communication here extends to attention and active listening. Effective communication by couples builds trust, love, passion and honesty in marriages.
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5. Forgiveness: Marriage is a lifetime event. No ordinary person deserves to bear grudges, let alone couple unto themselves. Pride is what encourages the act of withholding from asking for forgiveness. Marriage is a union of mature people who have accepted themselves.
Couples must be open to asking for forgiveness and must be ever ready to forgive one another, because there will always be offences.
6. Active Romance: The romance which couples had during their courtship must dive into the marriage with them. Romance is something everybody undeniably craves for, as long as it is coming from the right person. Couples must learn not to withhold romance.
There is no point withholding romance from your partner. Couples must not get tired of expressing love unto each other, and this extends to taking the necessary steps to show it. Sustaining romance in your marriage will go a long way sustaining your marriage and render it ever fresh.
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7. Honesty: Couples must practice being sincere to and with each other. Marriage is a relationship that is based on confidence. It is the act of honesty that builds trust in a marriage. A successful marriage includes that which there exist trust in it. It is the sincerity and openness of spouses unto each other that builds trust in a marriage.
8. The Little Things: Couples must not ignore the little things that make them humans. Love is not based on assumption; it is based on action. You are not expected to show love to your spouse in the biggest way. Little love extensions counts a lot. Being empathic, kind, helpful, expressive, are little big things that matter, and the host of them.
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9. Supporting your spouse: Supporting your spouse is a conclusive love language. Inasmuch as people may claim to be strong and capable, especially men, showing them support actually relieves them of burdens, and there is no sweeter love language than this. One of the purposes of marriage is to support one another. To support someone simply means you genuinely care about that person even when it means costing your comfort and resources. Supporting your spouse is one of the secrets which render marriages successful.
10. Doing things together: When couples do things together, it strengthens their bond, love and friendship. It makes them adorable and admirable. That is the germ of companionship, which is the totality of the purpose of marriage.
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11. Make Plans: Every marriage is based on agreement between the parties to spend their lives together and that shouldn’t be different when it comes to the kind of condition they intend to experience and share during their time together as a couple.
They should be able to make plans on how to achieve an enjoyable marriage and start working towards it and maintain the direction. So, a successful marital relationship can be achieved by making proper plans for the marriage.
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12. Don’t Compare: Spouses should not make the mistake of comparing their partner with someone else or liken their behavior to that of someone else. One of the negative implications of this attitude is that, it demoralizes the person and makes the person to start developing inferiority complex.
It would be an advantageous disposition and move to avoid getting to compare your partner with someone else. This way, you’re walking toward a successful marital relationship with your partner.
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Conclusion
Marriage is a total commitment to continue taking decisions thenceforth in consideration of your marital relationship with your spouse. Just as there are so many failed marriages out there, there are also host of marriages that are successful. The news however, is that the news about failed marriages are usually louder.
Nobody desires to be a victim of failed marriage, yet there will always be victims, the reason being that probably both spouses did not make positive effort to sustain the marriage, or maybe that the effort was one-sided. It behoves therefore that attaining a successful marriage demands commitment and passion from the both spouses. The secrets of successful marriages as have been highlighted in this article are practically proven to be efficacious, unless you are keeping a beast as a partner.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.