How To Know You Don’t Love Someone Anymore: There are many erronous definitions of love, and we know them. Fuzzy feelings, butterflys, an expectation rather than reality, the list goes on and on, but what happens when someone falls out of love? Love is well described as a parent and child relationship. Such that a parent provides for their child, not just out of necessity but because they love the child.
They also expect something’s from the child, like running errands or helping out with other things. This is love. Whereas a toixc relationship can come in the sense of a worker and boss partnership. Where the boss expects the worker to work for a particular pay and the worker works for that pay under the pressure that the boss would get annoyed if they don’t deliver. This isn’t love, and if you see yourself in such a relationship, run. However, true love can become bitter and falling in love can be a wonderful thing, till you fall out of it. Below are some signs that you’re falling out of love.
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How To Know You Don’t Love Someone Anymore
1. You start daydreaming about dating other people: Psychologists the world over have talked about this, about how your checking out other women or men on social media, looking good outside not for the purpose of looking good but for the purpose of the opposite gender looking at you, frequenting places where you can meet new people, and most of all, your imagining yourself being with them, dating them, loving them and them loving you is a testament to the fact that something is changing within; but before you make that decision to end it, know that falling out of love is a choice you make, albiet a normal choice.
Rachel Wright, psychotherapist at We-Vibe also attests to this. She says it’s not an accident but a choice. You made the choice to be in the relationship, so whether it’s a good choice or bad choice now is your problem. There is one thing you can do, however, you can spice up the relationship, patch up loop holes, or end it by not doing anything at all. The decision is up to you.
2. You feel uncomfortable with their needs: When you truly were in love, their needs became your own. You pondered over the littlest of details in their lives and wondered whether they woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You were their slave, and if you weren’t then it was because of the knowledge that it could lead to a toxic relationship or could damage you in the long run. If you aren’t in love anymore they either bore you or their needs are a distraction to your life.
Instead of worrying sick about what to do to help them you are wondering why they aren’t worrying about you the same way. Instead of going to sleep thinking about how to solve their needs and waking up with an epiphany, you lock them out of your mind and think about yourself alone.
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3. You’re cool with not hearing back from them: Worrying about someone or something is a sign of attraction. If you aren’t worrying about someone, even if it’s a sibling, parent or friend, your attraction to them is wanning. This is the same with when you’re in a relationship. If you’re in a truly loving relationship, communicating with your partner is something you truly enjoy doing. If it gets to a point that you aren’t upset that isn’t happening, then you aren’t in love any longer.
If you aren’t upset that this person doesn’t call you, text you or engage actively on social media then you’re not as in love with the person anymore, and they don’t care about you as much either. The fact that you both don’t care about each other is controversial, it just means that you guys aren’t so significant to each other that you don’t worry about engaging with each other.
4. Your talk of a future together fades away: If you aren’t in love anymore, you find it hard to even discuss the past. Initially you guys were talking about the future, marriage, kids, where you would live and spend your life together and making jokes about being compatible, such as, was the other person neat enough that they did house cleaning every week? Or were they a shoulder you could learn on? Where did all this vibe go to? The pit of love lost.
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5. You’re no longer excited to see each other anymore: A lot of couples set dates to see each other, this is mostly done in the weekends. They anticipate this so much that it’s all they talk and worry about a day or two before, usually on a Friday or Thursday, and on that day, they spend hours in the mirror and still ask a number of people how they look. All of a sudden you aren’t doing this but thinking about something else to the detriment of your going out to meet them or expecting their arrival at your place.
In fact you even forget that you guys would meet up. Indeed if you find yourself making plans about a lot of other things but yet dreading an upcoming hangout or dinner date with your spouse, then you’re reconsidering your feelings.
6. Their cute little habits are no longer cute little habits: Everyone has a quirk that comes with them, and as love is blind if someone is in love then they tend not to see that quirk as anything. Even behaviors such as chewing your finger nails or belching loudly can seem endering. Be careful, whenever this quirks now annoy you then you’re falling out of love. Except if the quirks are overbearing.
When a couple are in love then ones snoring makes the other stay up late and giggle, and when they both wake in the morning they talk about it smiling and wondering where that came from, his/her father or mother, but when they aren’t then the snorer either stops snoring or the other leaves the room.
The same thing with an experience such as the breakdown of a car. When a couple is in love this experience would be talked about with happiness and they would call it a learning experience and an adventure. When they aren’t they apportion blame for not checking the this or that about the car and for not reminding to check the car or take it to a mechanic.
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7. You find yourself being so busy, and regularly justifying why you’re so busy: If you prioritize something it means that you care about that thing. No matter how busy you are there are some jobs that you prioritize over others or even dump others by the wayside just because of those jobs. There are some people that you would see even in the midst of the thickest schedules. That’s why if you’re not prioritizing that person that you claim to love over something’s that are important in your life then you don’t really love them.
Don’t get scared if any of the above is your portion at the moment as a broken relationship can always be mended. Some of the solutions are as follows: for the first you can befriend the person that you’re dreaming about dating, so that you’ll know if they’re worth it at all. For the second you might be in a toxic relationship, so evaluate whether to leave it. For the third, try to prioritize your spouse into your busy day and see if you were worth it after all.
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For the fourth, you guys have to take it easy, slowly and talk about other things for now. Look at the immidate and not the far future. For the fifth, sixth and seventh, know there is no hard and fast rule to this things, as seeing someone a lot can actually lead to your not wanting to see them. I hope the points above that solutions have guided you on how to make your relationship better and to know when you are towing the wrong path and should change directions. I wish you a happier relationship ahead.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.