How To Reject a Girl Politely Without Hurting Her Feelings: One cannot always get what he or she wants hence the existence of a Phenomenon known as rejection. As long as your dealing involves humans of independent existence, you will not always be getting yes as an answer. This theory is applicable in all realms of life, but in the context of this article we particularly refer to rejection of a girl by a boy in matters of relationships and the likes.
Rejection can come in many ways; it can be direct, indirect, harsh or in a kind manner but in whichever manner that it comes, it is always not an entirely pleasant situation. Managing rejection therefore is a thing. It takes understanding, emotional intelligence and more to handle rejection.
The female folks can be very emotional. In fact they do not deserve experiencing rejection at all, but life must happen. The norm is that the guys make the offer while the ladies accept or reject. It sparingly happens the other way round and when it happens, ladies risk heartbreak emanating from a possible rejection. This is a lot of big deal for the female folks and they are being advised by popular opinions not to put themselves in a position where rejection from a guy is possible.
Guys on the other hand are being advised by popular opinions to be kind, respectful, understanding and humane in rejecting an offer or request from the other gender when they are not interested rather than faking or forcing things. These two sides of recommendation help in placing a balance on the risk and the aftermath of rejection. Girls therefore can always pour out their feelings for a guy and be treated nicely without having her feelings hurt consequent upon rejection.
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How To Reject a Girl Politely Without Hurting Her Feelings
Here are how to reject a girl nicely and without hurting her feelings:
1. Be kind and appreciate her interest: It takes a lot of effort, conviction, courage, confidence and more for someone to voice out personal feelings. It takes much more where it is coming from a lady to a guy. When she expresses her feelings to and you do not feel that spark within you, you can always promise her a response in a later time in order to think about it, instead of rendering an outright and unreasoned response. This too Will enable you to iron out the most appropriate and kind manner to tender your rejection. Be kind in your rejection.
Be affectionate, loving, friendly, sympathetic and gentle. This should be manifested in the choice of words used in your rejection and also in your attitude. If the conversation is face to face, you can place your hand affectionately on her shoulders or by any other affectionate gestures. Place some values on her for her confidence and sincerity. You can admit that you are flattered by her interest in you.
Then go ahead and say no in a tone as kind as you can. While saying no, you don’t have to sound bold and confident because that will give her feeling of a meritorious rejection, that is, that she does not deserve you at all. Tendering a kind and compassionate rejection is a very respectful thing to do.
2. Give reasons: In rejecting a girl, it may not be enough to say just ‘no’. In fact, this could be harsh, notwithstanding that no is a complete sentence. Still relating to the matter of kind rejection, it would be affectionate to give reasons for your rejection. The reason does not need to be an honest one. For instance, instead of telling her that she is not your type or taste, you could just say that you do not feel a spark between you two (even though that she is not your type for real).
Your reason can also be that you are not ready for the matters of two. This is kind and expressive. It even sounds honest, simple, and suitable all the time, and it is a line everyone should understand, unless she is interested in forcing things. It is also a valid reason to say that you are seeing someone already.
Therefore, humanely speaking, there ought to be given, reasons for the rejection. It may be rude to simply say ‘no I don’t want you, or sorry I am not interested in you’. Your reasons need not be the real state of things neither should it be blunt.
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3. Reject her on time: It is important that tender your rejection timeously. You don’t have to waste all those times to figure out that this is not what you want. The longer time you waste before communicating your response the more she gets the wrong signal that you are interested, and this is not kind at all. It is always better to quench the fire on time before it becomes too hopeful. By then your rejection will constitute a scar on her feeling and the purpose of rejecting without hurting her feelings becomes defeated.
Therefore, one of the ways of rejecting a girl nicely and without hurting her feelings is to do it timeously, and not when her feelings start getting some hopes.
4. Let your ‘No’ be Unequivocal: In rejecting a girl, there shouldn’t be rooms for alternatives because this will sustain her hopes even when none exists. Therefore you should make your response definite. There shouldn’t be a “maybe” response unless you too are being hopeful for a change of mind later. Rejection is a no, and no is a complete sentence; it should not be made conditional or ambiguous.
While giving your reason for the rejection as was exemplified earlier in this article, you must be mindful not to make it ambiguous. For instance, when you say that you are not ready for the matters of two yet, it is an ambiguous answer which gives room for a future hope. Unless you do intend such, do not use it.
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5. Avoidance-Avoidance Technique: It is doable to reject a girl indirectly without hurting her feelings. A reasonable person will always read meaning into attitudes. When you avoid occasions of close contact with her and avoid or limit communications, it is simply an understandable sign of lack of interest.
This is a way of rejecting a girl without hurting her feelings, instead of dancing to her tones when you know that you are not being sincere.
6. Project another girl: This is another indirect way of rejecting a girl nicely. She might not be interested in this conversation but if you tell her about your interest in another girl, she will get the message that you are not even looking at her direction.
This too is rude and will make her feel jealous but it is nicer than accepting her insincerely or rejecting her harshly.
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It is a selfish and inconsiderate act to accept proposal where there is no reason to do so (maybe you do not feel the same way for the girl). Some guys may go on and accept because they are afraid to say no, or because they care about the girl’s feeling not to suffer rejection.
This of course can be counterproductive and fatal. The best thing to do in all such circumstance is to learn to tender rejection nicely without hurting the girl. The recommendations in this article will go a long way.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.