Major Causes of Divorce in Nigeria: God blesses marriage, which is a union of two people. Marriage is also not a bed of roses where you can expect everything to go perfectly; for it to function, both partners must be very patient and understanding. But occasionally, couples decide that they can no longer stand each other and would be happier apart, leading them to file for divorce. The formal cancelation or dissolution by a court or other authorized agency is referred to as a divorce. A “broken home” is how most Nigerians describe their situation.
Few Nigerians divorce in a courtroom. Either the wife is separated from the husband, leaves unexpectedly with the children, or one of the couples separates from the other. A meeting is called between the two families or places of worship as required when this occurs. When one or both couples insist on continuing their separate lives, the home is no longer intact.
Divorce in Nigeria is on the rise and is a major reason for concern. Divorce can occur for a variety of reasons, many of which are still being discovered. I’ll list the top 15 reasons for divorce in Nigeria.
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Top 15 Main Causes of Divorce In Nigeria 2024
1. The Issue of Infidelity: A relationship can end when one partner leaves it to satisfy their needs, whether they be physical or sexual. Infidelity is a significant contributor to divorce. It is one of the legal reasons for divorce in addition to the longer-than-a-year separation and abuse of your spouse (mental or physical). You only share everything with the person you are married to.
The majority of sad people may even die as a result of marital infidelity because it causes so many negative emotions like anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain that are sometimes difficult to forgive and forget.
2. The Lack of Communication: Marriages require excellent communication, and failing to do so quickly can result in dissatisfaction and anger on both sides, which negatively affects the marriage in all respects. However, effective communication is the backbone of a healthy marriage. When two individuals are living together, they must be able to communicate their wants, as well as comprehend and make an effort to meet those of their partner.
Yelling at your partner, going the entire day without speaking to them, and using hurtful language to express oneself are all unhealthy forms of communication that should be abandoned in a marriage. Couples who cease communicating with one another may also feel alone and isolated and stop showing affection to one another altogether. The relationship can end as a result of this.
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3. The Issue of Unforgiveness: This is yet another important factor in divorce. No sin is too great to be pardoned. when one partner has vowed in his heart never to pardon the other for an error made, an offense committed, or an injustice committed.
They are unable to continue living happily together. Unforgiveness generates grief and resentment, which develops wickedness and hatred. the explanation for why partners are murdered in their sleep by husbands. Without forgiveness, nothing and no one can endure in any marriage. Forgiveness is essential to a happy marriage. This is a common reason for divorce that affects the entire race, not just Nigerians.
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4. Lack of Love: Every relationship, including marriage, needs to have love. Forgiveness, communication, understanding, tolerance, patience, happiness, belief in one another, compromise, the oneness of heart, and trust are all characteristics of love. Without love, marriage is merely a contract and will lack the qualities of love listed above. Only love can motivate two people to be married.
There is love between couples in today’s world, but it can be love for what and not for who. It might be a love for an eight-figure financial account or a figure-eight body. They will undoubtedly look outside to fill the void left by the absence of what they love.
The most well-defined term is love. Thinking of your spouse before yourself is a sign of true marital love. Always put your spouse first and be willing to support them no matter what.
5. Lack of mental preparation: Anyone who doesn’t plan is planning to fail. Without mental preparation, financial, spiritual, and bodily preparedness falls short. In a marriage, a lot of unexpected things might happen. Your mental readiness will alert you to be on the lookout for the unexpected. Nothing will catch you off guard since it will improve your shock absorber.
Children who witnessed their parents’ happiness as they grew up tend to lack mental preparation and occasionally believe that a happy marriage is inherited. What if your spouse instantly experiences financial ruin for two years or spends five years in a coma? What happens if the banker you wed leaves?
Those who believe everything will turn out OK neglect to plan, and when a serious emergency arises, they flee, leaving their partner behind in the blaze.
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6. Issues of the third party: Since marriage involves the union of two families, meddling from both families over time is inevitable. What counts is how you handle these intrusions and protect your marriage from them.
Every spouse is expected to put their spouse first. Couples shouldn’t make each other compete with their parents or siblings for attention. If not managed well, this might lead to envy. Some partners talk to, trust, and converse more with everyone else than their spouse while listening to and taking advice from others. Other frequent third parties include false prophets who accuse one of the husband or wife of engaging in witchcraft and set them against one another.
If a couple has sides, one of them will eventually choose a side on the other is not. The marriage will end as a result of this.
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7. Lack of Courtship: Young people frequently get married without taking the necessary time to get to know each other better; instead, they simply meet, become drawn to one another, and assume they are in love. The opportunity to court someone allows you to learn more about their personality, lifestyle, and worldview.
You will learn about your HIV status, whether you are both fertile if you are compatible, and other things during the wooing process. Before getting married, all of these things need to be taken into account because they are also major contributing factors to divorce.
8. Lack of Intimacy: Lack of connection can swiftly lead to the breakdown of a marriage since it makes partners feel more like roommates than spouses or as though they are cohabiting with a stranger.
This isn’t necessarily about having sex and can result from a lack of emotional or physical intimacy. Know that ignoring your partner regularly can eventually lead to divorce if it continues.
Couples sometimes battle with conflicting sex desires and appetites. When a couple tries to meet their demands, this can be quite frustrating. Additionally, our sexual demands might alter throughout life, which can cause emotions of bewilderment and rejection. Ignoring your partner’s sexual demands has recently been identified as the leading cause of divorce.
Both partners are accountable for fostering intimacy and specialness in your relationship. To improve your relationship, try to do small gestures of praise and physical closeness as often as you can.
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9. The Issues of Infertility: Nigerians have a particular attitude about having children; after two years of marriage, couples frequently worry about starting a family. Infertility is sometimes attributed to women even when the guy may be to blame, which can be a major source of conflict in certain marriages.
When one partner becomes fed up with the situation and decides to have children outside of the marital home, it frequently results in divorce.
10. Issues of domestic abuse: In the majority of Nigerian marriages, this is a big worry. Physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and financial abuse can all occur in a relationship. The majority of domestic abuse victims, wives, occasionally remain silent. Nevertheless, when they do or a friend or relative finds out.
Temporary separation is always advised, and if the husband doesn’t change, dissolution of the marriage is typically the next move. In Nigeria, several men have murdered their spouses after beating them to a pulp. Since there can be no marriage without life, divorce is always the best solution when domestic abuse occurs.
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11. Lack of Compatibility: One of the most common mistakes young spouses make is to mistake the physical attraction for love. When they are already married, the first desire has passed, and reality dawns on them, they only realise that their natures, intellects, emotions, and habits are incompatible. After decades of marriage, one of the causes of divorce is incompatibility.
12. Lack of Openness: In the eyes of our sweethearts, we all desire to appear better than we actually are. It happens rather frequently for people to trick their spouses into getting married or doing something similar. Women hide the truth about their prior relationships, men lie to girls about their riches, etc. All of this results in the breakdown of a marriage and the breakdown of trust.
13. Age Mismatch: It’s not all that unusual for a 40-year-old man to marry a 23-year-old woman. He should be aware that in a little while she will be a woman in the height of her beauty and her prime and he will be an old man.
The same is true if a man, let’s say, of 30 marries a woman, let’s say, of 40: she only has a few years to produce a child. According to specialists, the maximum age gap that is appropriate for a relationship is five years, and it’s important to make sure that neither partner has lied about their age.
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14. Intellectual Mismatch: It is obvious that communication is essential for a good and fulfilling marriage. This makes it quite evident that one of the most typical reasons for divorce in Nigeria is a blatant mismatch in the interests, intellectual capacity, and educational background of the parties involved.
It’s not a given that a university graduate will be unhappy in a marriage to a country labourer who lacks education. Even so, it’s always preferable if partners are about at the same intellectual level.
15. Broken Expectations: It is uncommon for people to realise that their expectations are their own problem and that no one is required to meet them. Some individuals, though, even marry with certain expectations of their spouses. Of course, the marriage ends when nothing of the sort occurs.
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Conclusion
Divorce is not a random event; there are usually warning signs and clues. Both before and after the wedding, there are signs of divorce. Certain divorce situations could be prevented if these warning signs are recognized and addressed right away.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.