How To Hold a Conversation With a Guy: Conversation is an expression and exchange of individual ideas through talking with another person or people. Conversation is a necessary aspect of one’s daily encounter with another. In the light of its necessity, making the best of it is not something common to every person especially when it involves a stranger and also a person of opposite sex.
In fact, regardless of the status, relationship and or gender of the person whom it has become necessary to be in a conversation with, the act of sustaining conversation is a skill. Being a skill, it could be inherent or acquired and developed. Ladies may always find it unusual and as such, difficult to hold a conversation with a guy.
This could be because guys are the ones ordinarily expected to initiate and keep conversations going. So even if the lady is such that actually knows how best to hold a conversation, this unusual feeling alone would make her to intentionally desists from contributing as a drive to the conversation. Now, there is no point having a conversation that you find uncomfortable to hold. But as long as you are comfortable with the conversation, they you have a social obligation to drive to drive it to the best of its direction.
Holding a conversation with a guy feels a lot safer for the ladies than it would feel for the guys. The guys’ mind are already structure to be a contributor in a conversation, after all they are always the ones making the first move. Now, as a lady, try not to be in the yea and no department. A good conversation should not be on one side.
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Tips on how to hold a long conversation with a guy
1. Get interested: There is no point being in a conversation with a person that you wish not to, or on a topic that you do not desire to talk about. The first rule to an effective conversation is to get interested. If the circumstance of the conversation is not suitable to you, you should find your way out of it. Conversation is a spontaneous expression of thoughts, ideas and feelings.
It is spontaneous in the sense that it is absolutely by one’s own choice to be in a conversation. One cannot be compelled to be engaged with a conversation. Thus, if you spontaneously get yourself into one, then let it be with a person, on a topic, and under a circumstance that interests you.
2. Express yourself: Because you are interested in the conversation, you should then feel free to express yourself. Try not to withhold your reactions. Be expressive, empathetic when necessary, smile and laugh when there is need, and allow your facial expression and body language to react in line with the direction of the conversation.
You should contribute your views and opinion of the topic of the conversation. Share your own experiences and expectations too.
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3. Ask him questions: Asking close-ended questions may be awkward especially if used constantly and wrongly. It is best to make use of open-ended questions. This makes your question wide enough for the answers to come in a narrative form. Inasmuch as you want to hold the conversation, an important part of conversation is that it has to flow from both sides.
This can be achieved by asking the guy open-ended questions. Open-ended question is such that does not require yes or no as an answer but rather requires a narration.
4. Ask and talk about his interests: It feels best for a guy to be asked about his interests. You can imagine him diving into the question as though he had been waiting for the opportunity to discuss it with you. While he discusses his interest, remember not to withhold your reactions and expression. There could be areas of his interest that you both share in common.
It is an opportunity to pick on it and ask further questions in respect to it. You can as well share your areas of interest with him. This keeps the conversation going and interesting. Talk about his hobbies, favourite shows, interest in sports, expectations, and so on. Conversation is all about the commonalities of thoughts and ideas. The best way to keep the conversation going is to ask the other person about them, or ask if they have anything that they would like to know about you. This is even best applicable to guys. There is always something to talk about.
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5. Extend compliments when necessary: You could chip in genuine compliments as the conversation goes on. The compliments could be based on his appearance, his voice, response, achievements, and probably when he says something adorable and enticing to your hearing.
It could be about his expectations and areas of interest. Compliment makes guys comfortable with you. You could see him feeling well appreciated and accepted. This will make him want to tell you more.
6. Giving attention: People generally do not talk to themselves. People would rather talk because there is someone listening to them. a conversation lacking attentiveness is very likely to be cut short. Since you are interested in this conversation, you should give it your attention for the moment, after all it is never going to last for eternity.
Effective listening is an ingredient of effective communication. Not listening to him will discourage him from contributing his best to be conversation. And of course, he knows when you are not listening.
7. Try not to render the conversation one-side: The bulk of the conversation should neither be on your side nor his side. It rather should be balanced. You should not be the only one talking while he dies the listening. The same applies the other way round. Remember, it is a conversation; thus, it is an exchange of thoughts and ideas. There is no hard and fast rule to placing a balance on the two sides of a conversation.
It is rather a common sense expectation that you have done more of the taking for the moment, therefore the guy on the other side should chip in his own thoughts and ideas too. Dominating a conversation on a one-sided basis will cut the conversation short and render it uninteresting. The act of dominating a conversation is always never intentional. Therefore, one must be mindful of not doing it.
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8. Transition into topics smoothly: Of course, the conversation cannot be dwelt on one topic. There has to be transitions from one topic to the other. You can expand an ongoing topic or even a statement or comment made by him into another phase of the conversation.
Every move and comment is an opportunity to expand the conversation. You would always know when and how best to shoot this as long as you are interested in the conversation.
9. Know when to end: The first recommendation on the list suggests when best to start a conversation. It suggests that thou shall not be in a conversation that you are not interested in.
The last but not all on the list now is to know when best to end that conversation. Conversation can neither be forced nor imposed. It also cannot last in perpetuity.
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Holding a conversation with a gut is usually not a big deal. Guys are always willing and ready to keep the conversation going especially the one with ladies. In fact, guys are more likely to be more at unrest to hold a conversation with ladies because of the generally perceived possible awkward and uncertain response from the ladies. This is usually not so, the other way round, as long as the guy is question is ready for that conversation.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka, ACMC, is a lawyer and a certified mediator/conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a developer with knowledge in various programming languages. Samuel is determined to leverage his skills in technology, SEO, and legal practice to revolutionize the legal profession worldwide by creating web and mobile applications that simplify legal research. Sam is also passionate about educating and providing valuable information to people.