How To Build a Godly Relationship: A Godly relationship is one founded in Christ and being towed in a Christ-like manner. Nowadays relationship is more of worldly enticements than Godly. Upon hearing the term ‘Godly relationship’, it paints a picture of a relationship founded on sexual purity; this is not actually what it is all about. There seems to be more to it. A relationship can be founded on sexual purity and yet be ungodly. In fact, platonic relationship (relationship in the absence of sexual intimacy) can be more of a mere mutual agreement or decision than Godly motivated.
This simply emphasizes that practicing a platonic relationship does not render it Godly, although it could be part of what constitutes a Godly relationship.
Building a Godly relationship is a goal. It does not just happen. Thus, one will have to be intentionally determined to achieve this. Achieving a Godly relationship is not enough; it also requires that it be sustained and continuously nurtured to become and remain the possible best of it.
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Below are tips on how to build a Godly relationship:
1. Date for a Purpose: If you are dating for fun, then the goal of having a Godly relationship is automatically defeated. Dating should be purposeful and not a union where two individuals waste their time and energy without having a direction or destination. Of course the purpose of a relationship could be for fun, but it is clearly not a means through which relationship of a Godly nature could be achieved.
For a Godly relationship, there is no point dating someone whom you know you cannot settle into marriage with, or either ways. The purpose of dating is to bond and ascertain compatibility of partners, and the purpose of this ascertainment is for the long term future which is marriage. Most importantly for a Godly relationship, the purpose should be clear and definite.
2. Be Genuine with your Partner: This is quite a broad concept incorporating every act of goodness towards your partner. Being genuine with your partner primarily suggest being honest and truthful. It further suggests loving one’s partner with all sincerity.
It embodies trust, respect and faithfulness towards one’s partner. These are attributes that are ideal to a Godly relationship. It is also an act of humanity. There cannot be said to exist a Godly relationship in the absence of these genuine attributes.
3. Ascertain your Partner’s Spiritual Compatibility with yours: This is very necessary at the early stage of the relationship. In fact, this should constitute the basis of acceptance in the relationship at the very first place. Two individuals cannot share the same level of spirituality, but there can be high some degree of acceptability and compatibility which is a validation.
Love and infatuation can make someone to compromise his or her spiritual standard to a reasonable extent. This does not defeat compatibility. As long as partners share similar belief and operate on a similar level of spiritual understanding, a Godly relationship can be made feasible.
Even when either of the partners is lukewarm in Godliness, with the Godly aim of the relationship and with the help of the other, a lukewarm partner can become fervent. Absence of spiritual compatibility is a typical threat of conflict to an ordinary relationship, let alone one which has a Godly status goal to work for.
4. Attend Pre-marital and Relationship Counseling: By attending pre-marital and relationship counseling, it shows that the relationship has a purpose. The parties are goal driven to gear their relationship towards a favourable direction.
Pre-marital counseling with get relationship partners informed on the ingredients of an effective relationship, how to make best out of a relationship, how to manage one another, and of course how to build their relationship in a Godly manner, that is, in a manner that pleases God.
5. Have a Mutual Agreement on having a Godly Relationship: Partners who intend to build a Godly relationship must communicate this intention to each other. It is after there has been such mutual agreement that this purpose can be successfully fulfilled without hindrance on any side. Such mutual agreement gives the relationship a direction and destination.
Godly relationship must be distinguished from religious relationship. While religion is all about adopting a sect, fulfilling their tenets and going to church, Godly relationship is all about the manifestation of God’s purpose in the attitude and goodness of relationship partners towards each other. This also extends to putting God first in your relationship. Relationship partners can agree to put away anything that is not in consonance with the will of God in their relationship as much as humanely possible.
6. Praying Together: This is a form of spiritual bonding. Godly relationship is a practice and not a mere sentence. To build and sustain a Godly relationship, partners must practice the act of praying together with love and goodwill.
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7. Set Purity Goals: This also flows from a mutual agreement between the partners in a relationship to maintain sexual purity. Sexual purity does not necessarily refer to purity. It is rather the practice of abstinence from sexual activities.
While relationship partners set purity goals, it must be extended to their fidelity; and not an occasion where one practices purity within the relationship but does otherwise outside. Sexual purity is one of the fundamentals of a Godly relationship. The extent at which this sexual purity should be observed is uncertain and therefore subjective to individual belief.
8. Accept your partners Imperfection: It is of Godly nature to genuinely love another, and love cannot be said to be genuine in the absence of acceptance. To achieve and sustain your relationship in a Godly manner, partners must learn to accept the other’s imperfection. You must understand that no human being is perfect, including your partner.
9. Guard your heart: This is a personal responsibility. You are in charge of your heart. What comes out as your attitude is a typical representation of what your heart is fed with. Feed your heart with Christ-like information and see it manifest Godliness in your relationship.
10. Acknowledge your own Weakness: It is the height of honesty and sincerity to acknowledge one’s own weakness. Acknowledging your one weakness will help you to consciously build a better personality which will be appealing and lovely to your partner.
11. Avoid Occasions of Intimacy: A relationship founded on Christ should observe the fundamental principles of abstinence from pre-marital intercourse.
This can be achieved if partners in a relationship make individual conscious efforts to avoid compromising occasions that can lead to sexual activities.
12. Strengthen your personal relationship with God: One cannot possibly build a Godly relationship when within oneself; he has no personal relationship with God. Partners in a relationship must love God first even before their partners, but not at their expense, hence the need for spiritual compatibility.
Asking the question as to how to build a Godly relationship is a great first step to creating a Godly relationship. The Godly relationship so established need not be at the peak of its perfection, as long as there is commitment, and conscious effort is being made by both partners to attain perfection. In all, a Godly relationship should be one that glorifies the Lord and represent the principles of God. Building a Godly relationship is a continuing process.
Edeh Samuel Chukwuemeka ACMC, is a Law Student and a Certified Mediator/Conciliator in Nigeria. He is also a Developer with knowledge in HTML, CSS, JS, PHP and React Native. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier.